20 Things I Learned in College

What do you say after meeting someone who recently graduated? Most people will probably congratulate them and ask what they studied. Arguably, the most popular question though is “What do you plan to do next?”

For my immigrant family, my college degree represents social mobility, the American Dream, and decades of sacrifices. To them, a college degree essentially promised me a high-paying job, to be in a better position to provide for my family, and be conventionally successful. Many others share this view of immediately equating post-grad success to financial freedom and security. After learning about my recent graduation, I recall a bank teller asking me, like clockwork, what I was planning on doing with my college degree followed by “UCLA is a great school, so I’m sure you’ll get a job soon.” Like many other family members and friends, this stranger means well when they ask about my future plans. However, these statements also suggest that a college degree is mostly, if not all, about economic or professional gains. They aren’t wrong and, in fact, it makes sense given our capitalist society in the U.S., where our education system is a huge money-making machine (F U student loans). But I wonder if people understand or consider the capitalistic premise of their questions and statements.

While I empathize with this logic — I even shared these very same ideas going into college — I also can’t help but notice how this perspective undermines the personally enriching experiences and growth that higher education fosters. Along with my character development, the significance of my college degree has evolved throughout the past four years. It’s come to also represent growing pains, resilience, community, more informed and dynamic perspectives among other things I couldn’t possibly fit in a one page resume. To pay tribute to those lessons, I want to share 20 things I learned in college.

20 Things I Learned in College

1. If it feels like you’re doing it alone, then you’re doing it wrong. Thank you for everything Josephine Flores and SPACE founder Jerry Gonzalez!
2. Listening means taking note of how others want their solutions fixed instead of immediately offering your own solutions. Thank you Mobile Clinic, SPEAR, and SPACE!
3. Home is a feeling. Thank you Mobile Clinic :)
4. Respect Character. Many communities, especially Asian Americans, put a lot of emphasis on respecting elders. Personally, I think older people earn their respect because of what they take away from their extensive experiences — not necessarily the experiences themselves. This view allows for mutual respect towards our youth, as well.
5. To love a space is to challenge it. By challenging spaces, people, and ideas you love, it means you’re acknowledging the impact they have and actively improving them.
6. Upholding boundaries is just as important as setting them.
7. Good people do bad things. Thank you SPCN 2018–2019.
8. Healing takes time and it’s not always linear. Thank you Michelle Velasco!
9. What makes a relationship successful isn’t whether you stay together or not, but if it was worth it in the end. The majority of relationships lead to a breakup, but that doesn’t mean they were all failures. Hi David Alejandrino!
10. Everything is a social contract. Room 581, my stomach still hurts from laughing!
11. There are multiple kinds of knowledge and capital — each important and respectable. Pedagogy is art, and good pedagogy acknowledges the multiple kinds of capital. Thank you SPACE 2017–2018 and Maurus Dumalaog.
12. Take your rest as seriously as your hustle. Thanks UCLA Quarter System and thank goodness for Winter Breaks!
13. My greatest aspiration is to be as good as the people around me. Thank you Kevin, Kara, Maurus, Fronds, Apt 105, Royalty Line, Young Bukos, Mobile Clinic, PREP, SP, and my family for inspiring me to be a better and more authentic version of myself everyday.
14. Problems may have been once solutions. People’s unhealthy habits don’t demonstrate a person’s moral failings. (If you’re gonna tell kids to not use drugs, then you should (1) acknowledge the various reasons people start using them [ie coping mechanism, stress, depression, etc] and (2) offer healthier alternatives instead of stigmatizing people who use them and reinforcing toxic systems.) Late night convos with Lily!
15. Exist to not exist. Samahang Pilipino ❤
16. Silence the noise. Comparisons are a slippery slope.
17. I am multifaceted. My different goals and dreams are all me, yet not any one of them alone defines me.
18. Parents are just awkward people who tend to struggle with expressing themselves. Apt 105, so much love for y’all!
19. Success comes in many shades and forms.
20. You can’t force growth similar to how pulling on a weed won’t make it grow any faster. Maurus, thanks for also acting this out :)

This list of lessons also serves as a reminder to myself that despite what others say, my degree is worth more than just my next paycheck. It represents a substantial part of my perspective and identity.

In Trevor Noah’s book Born a Crime: Childhood Stories from South Africa, family friends ask Trevor’s mother why she continues to expose her son to books about things he might never encounter given his underprivileged childhood environment. His mom responds with “…even if he never leaves the ghetto, he will know that the ghetto is not the world. If that is all I accomplish, I’ve done enough.” This is also true about my education. Even if I’m unable for any reason to fully realize or experience everything I hope to after earning my degree, I at least know what is possible. Regardless of my professional success, or lack thereof, I would do it all over again for that reason alone.

So next time you learn about someone’s academic accomplishment, I encourage you to ask about what they took away from their experience before asking what they plan to do next — their initial response might be more telling.